Is it possible to have the perfect mix of working, mothering, and self care? Is work/life balance actually an achievable goal? And is balance really the way we should be approaching all of this?

 We are surrounded with articles and social media telling us that as mothers we are currently taking the brunt of the extra work and stress of coronavirus, while also being told we that we should find our ‘work/life balance’. Simultaneously telling us that we’re doing too much, while also implying there is a magic formula out there that allows us to spend just the right amount of time on each of the endless tasks we are faced with on a daily basis. 

All this confusing messaging can leave us not only feeling overwhelmed with all we need to do but also feeling guilty that we haven’t found the perfect balance in our lives, along with the constant feeling that we’re only ever doing everything in half measures. (As I write this I’m sat in the kids bathroom running their bath, I am also remembering the laundry I haven’t finished doing, nagging my children to finish their dinner, thinking about my next virtual teaching and texting with a client who needs some support). 

What if it’s not about magically reducing our daily mental load or finding some mythical ‘balance’. What, instead, if it’s about choosing where we place our focus and attention at any one time. And accepting that we can’t do everything all at once. 

Our ability to pay attention is a finite resource, think of it as a spotlight. We can only shine it on so much or it becomes increasingly dim. We need to be ok with choosing to focus our attention, and ok with (temporarily) ignoring things. 

Those moments where we feel pulled in a hundred directions, and that we are failing at everything we are doing, those are signs you’re focusing on too much. Pick some things, for now, that you are going to concentrate on. And realise that you can shift your focus in the future on to different things!

All of this is especially true right now. We are living through an exceptional and unprecedented time. We are being asked to focus on a million things: we are not just raising families but also acting as their teachers, the only social contact they have, handling our children’s fears and uncertainties around coronavirus. 

 So right now, in 2020, don’t strive for balance, it doesn’t exist. Look at your life, see what needs your attention right now in this moment and focus on that. You’re not giving anything up or throwing anything away; you’re prioritising what’s important right now in the knowledge that you are more than the sum of what you are focusing on in